free+living

♥ my reading list last year

2012-01-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

Most of my posts have been inspired by baby, so to avoid being a totally mommy poster...I'll talk to you about my failure to read a book a month last year, and the books that I read that changed me for the better. But, I cannot promise I won't be a total mommy poster in the future.

Here are all the books I read according to month:
January - Sula by Toni Morrison
February - A Simple Path about Mother Teresa
March - So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore
April - Bossypants by Tina Fey
May - In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen
June - One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
July - The Help by Kathryn Stockett
August through December - {cricket noises}

Once August hit, my life got so insanely busy. Steve was back from fishing. We did an East Coast tour (PENN, NY, MA, NJ) to see family and friends, then it was back to school, work and internship for Steve while I tried to juggle a part-time job and my freelance business. We were also trying to make a baby. Ha ha. So, that's why I failed to read my last five books of the year.

To start the year reading A Simple Path about Mother Teresa, it really made a difference in my worldview and heart. Her compassion for the poor and working so close with those who are downcast inspired me to do the same. My life had become complicated and much to my own chagrin. There's a saying if you could kick your worst enemy in the butt you would never be able to sit down. I completely relate! My life was missing that element of service to the down and out. Sure, my husband and I gave money to organizations that help people in need, but did we give our time? Then, I experienced a miracle of a homeless man finding his family and home again at the beginning of 2011 that I was able to be apart of, and between this event and this book, I was ready to care for what God had planted in my heart of hearts. I was ready to work with the homeless in my lovely City of Roses, and the people who happen to be homeless have been giving to me ever since I decided to finally say "yes" to them.

Another profound read was One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. When you become an adult, it feels like life becomes more burdensome. You turn on the news, and someone has just been murdered. You find out about the heart aches of your friends and family even yourself. You're bogged down with bills, with suffering, with regret. You miss that sense of being as a child if you had a good childhood: the utter freedom, the joy, and the relief of just living without burden. What I'm trying to say is that it's easy to allow the problems in this life to crush you and to snuff out any flicker of hope your heart ever contained. This is why Ann's book came at the perfect time for me.

My 2011 had been a difficult. I felt bogged down like a piece of debris tangled at the bottom of a murky lake. I was overwhelmed, and Ann's reflections on life and seeing it anew brought me to the surface for a deep breath again. Her words resuscitated me, and they made me see again where I had been totally blind.

Her book is about being grateful for each moment and seeing God in the quiet, beautiful details of this one-time journey. She encourages her readers to make a list of 1,000 things they are grateful for. I'm still working on mine, but her struggle, faith and worship of subtleties is a breath of fresh air for anyone who might feel the slightest sadness about the world we live in.

These two books above grew me. So why I may not have met a goal of reading a certain number of books last year, I don't feel too bad about it.

♥ oh boy, oh boy!

2012-01-25T16:37:00.003-07:00

We are having a SON! We're thinking of calling him Theodore which means gift of God with acceptable nicknames of Ted, Teddy, Little T, but we are not final on anything. Can't wait for this little bundle to join us!

♥ tuesday: tunes day for baby

2012-01-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

This Beatles' song is dedicated to our one and only baby. Today, we find out its gender, and we feel like it's Christmas day and can't wait to unwrap the mystery of whether we have a boy or girl, a son or a daughter. Oh, we are so grateful to a loving Father for this gift we don't deserve.

I'm so thankful for the life growing inside me and can't wait to give it all my loving!

♥ designing for baby

2012-01-20T14:16:00.001-07:00

I'm designing our baby's nursery on a strict budget, but there are creative things I can do to make it look less-budgety. Since I'm a graphic designer by trade, one thing I can do for free is create cute posters for baby's room. I have two frames already awaiting these beauties.

Growing up, my mom would wake us up singing, "Good Morning Little Sunbeams!" As a pre-adolescent and teenager, I don't think I was too fond of waking up this way or waking up in general. However, now when that phrase pops up in my mind, I cherish it, and so the legacy will continue.

Also, my really good friend is making me a multi-color hexagon quilt for the nursery which was the inspiration for the poster designs. Most of what we have in the nursery so far is neutral, so I'm adding pops of bright color where I can. I cannot live without color. It would be like asking Van Gogh to paint in all neutrals. Yeah, not a good idea!

What are some ways you design on a budget?

♥ micro sculptures

2012-01-18T16:24:00.002-07:00

Thanks to my wonderful sis-in-law and an email forwarded from her bf, I found out about a truly inspiring artist. Plus, I am a fanatic for all things minituare, so it works out well. Dalton Ghetti carefully chisels the tips of pencils into amazing micro sculptures. The Alphabet and Heart are my favorites (seen above). There is also a saw; that's pretty freaking awesome too. Apparently, he doesn't sell his work because he only gives it to friends. Dalton, can we be friends? Pretty, please?! I'll be your pen pal friend in Portland.

To see more of his work, go here. Hope you enjoy his creativity as much as I do!

♥ the head and the heart

2011-12-20T10:17:00.002-07:00

The Head and the Heart - Sounds Like Hallelujah from Whitney Moreno on Vimeo.

I love these guys. Seriously, love them! They are from the lovely NW...Seattle to be exact. I have some friends who are going to do an East Coast tour with them. Pretty cool if you ask me! Enjoy this Tuesday: Tunes Day.

♥ baby on the way

2011-12-14T18:26:00.001-07:00

Wow, it's been awhile. Two months can really fly by, can't they? This post is dedicated to my unborn baby - yep, that's right! We are having a little one, and we are so super ecstatic about it!! I'm finally getting out of the nauseous first trimester, and I'm entering the golden one. I'll take anything labeled golden. ;)

So I thought I would do a quick post with some nursery decor ideas that I love!

Source// Lay Baby Lay

Source// Pinterest

Source// Lay Baby Lay

♥ it was a van gogh summer

2011-10-01T16:21:00.001-07:00

And boy, was I grateful.

♥ a get to know me list

2011-09-30T16:21:00.006-07:00

Two cities you want to travel to:
♥ Paris (again)
♥ Tokyo

Last thing you had to eat:
♥ 1.5 pancakes

Two alarm times you have set on your phone:
♥ 6:30 am
♥ And sleep in

Three beauty products you couldn’t live without:
♥ Mary Kay Navy Eyeliner
♥ Lancome Definicils Mascara
♥ MAC Pressed Powder

Favorite style decade(s):
♥ Hands Down 1950's

Four things you eat/drink on a daily basis:
♥ Water
♥ An egg
♥ Bread
♥ I crave French Fries on a daily basis

Top 3 regions of the country you would live in:
♥ Portland
♥ Austin
♥ And another city like the two above (I do realize these are suppose to be regions)

Type of vacation you would love to go on next:
♥ I want to go to Crater Lake - Southern Oregon

Clothing you regret wearing:
♥ Splatter Paint Shirts
♥ Wearing my dad's clothing (when I was the size of an elementary kid in Middle School)

Three best school years:
♥ 7th grade
♥ 11th grade
♥ Senior year at UT

Four things you try to avoid:
♥ Running
♥ Missing Zumba
♥ Making People Sad or Mad
♥ Stinky Odors

Now it's your turn. Comment with a link to your list. Thanks for the great idea, Becca Boo!

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-09-27T14:49:00.002-07:00

Steve and I saw Bon Iver on a beautiful fall evening in Oregon. My favorite moment of the entire evening was the encore. The band came back out on stage and sang Skinny Love, a cappella. It was so beautiful and serene.

♥ peter pan collars...yes, please!

2011-09-25T15:10:00.003-07:00

I love hearts, and I just bought this top. What sold me? The pretty peter pan collar! I love rounded corners in design and especially in fashion. What are your favorite fashion details?

♥ henri's words

2011-09-22T17:49:00.001-07:00

The Created Order as Sacrament

When God took on flesh in Jesus Christ, the uncreated and the created, the eternal and the temporal, the divine and the human became united. This unity meant that all that is mortal now points to the immortal, all that is finite now points to the infinite. In and through Jesus all creation has become like a splendid veil, through which the face of God is revealed to us.

This is called the sacramental quality of the created order. All that is is sacred because all that is speaks of God's redeeming love. Seas and winds, mountains and trees, sun, moon, and stars, and all the animals and people have become sacred windows offering us glimpses of God.

♥ nell and mary

2011-09-17T19:27:00.003-07:00

I'm pretty sure these are the sweetest pillows in all of America possibly the world. Nell and Mary of Portland, Oregon have such a great eye for design and color. I'm definitely saving my money for one of these, and I'm so grateful to live in a city where people are passionate about art and good at it too.

♥ say hello to harley

2011-08-29T16:47:00.009-07:00

Steve and I get to live with this cuteness everyday. I know what you are thinking...how can they bare to live with such adorability and preciousness? We somehow manage.

Harley came into my life before Steve was apart of the story. He literally fit in the palm of my hand as a baby. He was the middle one in the litter, but the runt outgrew him.

Currently, Harley is only 3.5 pounds, but full of life, resilience and joy.

This past weekend, Harley in a full state of crazy joy leaped out of Steve's arms to greet some visitors. As a result of his joyful leap and 3.5 foot drop from Steve's arms, he damaged his middle toe nail. He won't be giving you the bird anytime soon because the vet had to do minor surgery on him and remove his nail. Poor bear was drugged up so bad that his pink tongue hung out the side of his mouth like a cartoon character. (Parent heart break - insert it here.)

Thankfully, he seems to be back to his normal self. I secretly wished he broke something (not because I want him to be in pain obviously) but because I thought how cute would he be with his tiny, tiny cast on his mini-paw. But, I'm sure the novelty of it would have worn off soon.

Oh Harley, you kill us. Glad you are ok and back to kitty attacking business.
Love, Mom and Dad

P.S. That's his get well bunny made by Auntie Donna.

♥ all the pretty horses

2011-08-23T11:39:00.006-07:00

Unfortunately, this is not a post about Cormac McCarthy's book. However, it is about my undying childhood love of horses. I used to check out the horse dictionary from the library weekly and dream about owning one of the following breeds: Palomino, Clydesdale, and the Wild Stallion (who wouldn't want to have Black Beauty as their mare...I mean C'mon!). So while I was in the wonderful city of Philadelphia visiting family, you can see where my longing eyes and heart naturally took me.

♥ well, hello there

2011-08-15T09:50:00.007-07:00

You need to go to here

What cures Monday blues? An amazing handbag give away...
Yes, yes, it does.

It sure does have such a purdy face!

♥ been busy

2011-08-14T17:38:00.005-07:00

Sorry, I have not posted in a really long time. Steve and I had an epic adventure on the east coast, and epic is fitting because it was a very long time. Finally, we are back! We missed our pretty Portland and her lovely summers. So just in case you were wondering if my blog was going to shut down, au contraire mon frere or ma soeur...

...free and living is alive (that may be redundant)!

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-07-20T08:49:00.004-07:00

Recently, I was talking to a sweet friend from my college days, and we were talking about our present lives and what's going on these days. But, we're always reminiscent about the good ole days when we bounced around free as birds, laughed up memories, and stayed up all night dancing. We started to sing a Postal Service song lyric together, and decided to watch this youtube video with each other via the phone.

She is still in Austin, and now I'm a good amount of miles away in Portland. Although there has been distance and time between us, we always pick up where we left off and then some.

Anyway, it was good to hear her voice and Ben Gibbard's side project tunes. Postal Service reminds me of when I first met Steve and fell in love. I even walked down the aisle to an instrumental Death Cab's Transaltanticism to be united with my one and only forever. Thanks Ben Gibbard.

♥ outfit

2011-07-13T20:56:00.007-07:00

I think I will occasionally share a favorite outfit with my readership (that's you). He he. I'm not much for photos of myself, but I really like the background on this photo because it was taken at a Greyhound Bus Station in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. I didn't take the bus that day...just a ferry from Washington but loved the tiled wall in my favorite shades of green and blue.

The hoodie I'm wearing is one of my favs because I bought it the first summer my hubby went commercial salmon fishing. It was June, and I bought it for my birthday in late July. What can I say? When you find something you absolutely love, you make a CASE for it. And, I did. It was my hubby's b-day gift to me but he didn't know it until the subsequent letter. Yes, we have to snail mail it because he is in the wilderness of Alaska. Sometimes, we get to talk via the modern wonder of a phone. We talk about once a week, and I keep those conversations close to my heart. But the letters are just as amazing because you can reread letters, and you always look forward to opening the mailbox in the morning!

Well, I guess this outfit had a little story to tell. Lots of love to you!

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-07-12T10:16:00.005-07:00

Oh Land "Sun of a Gun" from Oh Land Music on Vimeo.

One of my besties, Donna, and I jammed to Oh Land on our roadtrip to Victoria, B.C. We had a blast seeing our families and sightseeing. We visited Miniature World which was AMAZING, and biked like maniacs to the Butchart Gardens. Many fun memories were made...a picture post to follow soon!

Meanwhile, enjoy Oh Land's Sun of a Gun - the snapping makes this song.

♥ a weekend in a seattle

2011-07-05T17:39:00.008-07:00

This past weekend, I drove north on I-5 to meet my lovely parents in Seattle. It was so good to see them after their flight had to deboard before taking off because the new plane could not steer to the left. They arrived at SEA-TAC four hours after their expected arrival. Fortunately, there was a mall in Tacoma that I thoroughly enjoyed that day. Thanks Pennies (aka JCP) for the cute I ♥ Ronson dresses.

Here's what my weekend involved:

First off, it involved these two loving and beautiful people.

A nice, one-hour boat cruise and tour through the Puget Sound

Walks along the piers and dinners on said piers (and a few squawking seagulls who love fries more than me)

The to-be-feared-and-loved Top Pot Doughnuts

And a sweet return home in time for the 4th in the City of Roses

Thanks Mom and Dad for the most excellent of weekends!

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-07-05T17:35:00.004-07:00

#93.1 - BON IVER - Lump Sum by lablogotheque

It's a sunny day in Portland so Bon Iver's winter songs refresh my heated apartment. Hope you enjoy!

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-06-28T11:37:00.005-07:00

Alex Winston | Choice Notes | A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

It's totally a gloomy day in Portland, and it's supposed to be summer. So in order to rectify the weather and get the gloom out of my heart, here's a lovely ditty by Alex Winston. I'm really loving her voice and the back up singers. It's like punk rock Supremes, and I'm ok with that. Enjoy this tunes day!

♥ besties

2011-06-27T12:21:00.003-07:00

Meet my one of my besties, Donna. She has the sweetest heart, and seriously, amazing style. Donu, as I affectionately call her, is like a sister to me. We giggle together, cry in moments of vulnerability and love like there's no tomorrow. She inspires me to live life with thankfulness for each little moment and to find joy in the little things. We may come across as bubbly sorority sisters but there's a current in us that runs deep. We are sisters in a larger family - a family that loves each other with loyalty and gives grace when you need it. So grateful for this sister of mine xo

♥ a saturday psalm

2011-06-25T12:35:00.001-07:00

Oh, the beauty of your name
when it's on the lips of humanity,
How sweet, the taste of your mercy.

You are the God of all gods,
my one and only.

You are the summer harvest's best of the best.

How great and powerful, your touch.
How kind and loyal, your embrace.

In your presence, I find the truest of comforts.
You quiet me with your loyal love.
Stay at home in my heart,
in my life.

Know the beauty of your name
when it's on the lips of your children.

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-06-21T11:11:00.004-07:00

Phoenix - 1901 - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

This is one of the first take away shows, Les Concerts a Emporter, that Steve and I ever watched. I really like Phoenix. The lead singers voice is so clear, and their beats, so right. It's not hard to watch either...filmed in a city I love. Hope you enjoy this one! What are some of your favorite bands?

Whole notes,
Mish

♥ best comic ever

2011-06-21T11:07:00.002-07:00

♥ thursday: grief day

2011-06-16T15:30:00.005-07:00

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-06-14T11:08:00.004-07:00

Back on track, y'all! Thanks for being patient with my Thursday: Tunes day last week. It just doesn't sound as great as Tuesday: Tunes Day, right? Today, I want to introduce you to a wonderful person, talented singer, songwriter from my home base, Portland, Oregon...Kelli Schaefer. Honestly, I think she is the cream of the crop here in Portland and beyond. This is one of my favorite songs that I wanted to share with you:

Here's her most recent music video featured via Paste Magazine:

Kelli Schaefer Black Dog from amigo amiga on Vimeo.

♥ loving this room

2011-06-11T13:00:00.009-07:00

Seriously, this room embodies all that I love about Europe, mid-century design, and color. ♥ It's a 26-year-old graphic designer and photographer's pad from the Czech Republic. His name is Jan Skácelík, and I accidentally stumbled upon his lovely living room while searching for an image via Google. Here's the source.

Ok, I'm dreaming of redecorating now. :)

♥ U2 recap

2011-06-10T06:57:00.013-07:00

Sitting in our seats in section 329, row S, seats 1 and 2, I told Steve, "You can tell those t-shirts that lady is selling are bootlegged because they used Bank Gothic which comes standard with any Microsoft software." He smiled and told me that was the quote of the evening.

Yes, I'm a major font nerd. It comes with the territory...being a graphic artist and all. If a movie title is in Papyrus, immediately, I lose all respect for it. Seriously, my geeking out on typefaces is that bad!

The U2 concert in Seattle was AMAZING! Where does Bono get his energy?! His nickname Bono comes from Bono Vox in Latin which means good voice. I heard that somewhere, but hearing his voice live is like no other - it's that goooood. The band totally put their whole heart and soul into their music and their performance. The graphics were off the hook, and the circular screen to help those of us in the nosebleeds came apart and expanded. It was like nothing I had ever seen! The weather in Seattle was absolutely perfect too. It was sunny with a cool breeze about 70 degrees. Steve and I were amazed at how many people were there...over 70,000...we all sang along with Bono Vox. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Toward the end of the show, I quickly snuck out to buy a t-shirt. We are saving it for our future kid. In 20 years, we'll have an amazing vintage U2 t-shirt to let them have and a super sweet memory attached to it. Upon walking back, I heard a melody that made my heart skip some beats. They just began playing my favorite song, "With or without you". I quickly ran up the stairs back to Steve and my seat and recorded it on my phone. With a quickly beating heart from excitement and from the said run up the stairs, I tried to steady my shaky hands to capture such a sweet moment in time.

Here are some of the pics of our lovely eve at U2 and our mini-vacation in Seattle, Washington:

♥ new, fun cards + jewelry

2011-06-09T10:15:00.017-07:00

Drumroll, please. Ok, no drumroll, but I'm so excited about my new cards Happy, Happy B-day and Missing You Like Crazy!!!! They make my card set complete. The rainbow-esque colors are killing me. I love looking at all them together and separately. These lovelies will make a debut at a Portland craft fair this weekend, then they'll be up in my Etsy shop!

I have so many cute earrings and necklaces to sell at Crafty Underdog. I can't wait!!! Oh the excitement!!!!

♥ thursday: tunes day

2011-06-09T10:09:00.005-07:00

If you follow my blog, it's supposed to be Tuesday: Tunes Day. I'm running behind this week. There's lots to prepare for this weekend. I'm in charge of leading a lunch for people who happen to be homeless then it's off to a graduation party for a friend who just got pinned. She now has RN at the end of her name. It's a Candy Striper themed party! Then, I have a craft fair on Sunday. Baby girl (I refer to myself and others by this name) has a lot to do!

Here's another un concert a emporter:

Les Pascals | Hashire Maware l A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Love the 70's vibe!

Enjoy!

♥ oh happy day is right

2011-06-08T22:26:00.005-07:00

Wanna go to Paris?

Well, click the question above to find out more. ;)

Seriously, am I dreaming?!

♥ happy weekend

2011-06-03T10:05:00.006-07:00

Well, it's been a lifelong dream to see U2 live in concert...sort of a check off the bucket list. This Saturday, the hubs and I will drive north to see Bono and the Edge work their magical talents on stage. Watch out Seattle! We had a list of things we want to do together when were dating, and this is one of the things. It feels so good and there's so much anticipation since we've waited literally 7 years to see this day happen. I'll try to post some pics apres-concert to share with everyone. Oh, Happy Weekend!

♥ inspirational posts

2011-06-01T08:49:00.003-07:00

3/3 made with Instagram and Photoshop CS4 by Mish Davis

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-05-31T13:21:00.006-07:00

JAE | Part 1 (Lest I Ever Waited / Jim's Place) | A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Just found this peaceful band JAE on my favorite music site, La Blogotheque, and thought I would share it with you lovely readers.

♥ baby fever

2011-05-27T12:36:00.009-07:00

Well, the time has come. I'm watching my good friends' most prized possession for a full 24 hours. Her name is Aven, but I call her Avie and most of the time, I affectionately name her Bear. She's a tough baby too. I mean just look at this pic:

When we go out of town, Lindsay and Koes watch our most prized possession. Our 3 pound, 8-year-old Yorkshire Terrier...his name is Harley or Harbear or Harboo or Harley Joe and the Crab Shack. We have a ton of nicknames for HarHar. While our prized possessions mainly ignore each other, they can't help but be absolutely adorable for the camera/world. I mean, really, can anymore cuteness be possible?

One time while Lindsay and Koes were watching Harley, they ran into Oscar from The Office. He was visiting Portland, and Oscar struck up a conversation with Lindsay and Koes about Harley. I'm pretty sure they claimed he was theirs. That's why I told them if we run into Angela, then Avie is totally OUR baby. :)

Recently, Avie has learned to crawl. Steve and I may have our hands full, but it's totally worth it. This little bundle will be our joy for the next 24 hours. Oh my, baby fever is in full force.

♥ tuesday: tunes day

2011-05-24T06:25:00.005-07:00

Danielson | Daughters Will Tune You | A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque

I decided to share some of my favorite music/ music resources with you on Tuesday. I'm calling it Tunes Day (ha ha). I know I'm cheesy.

I heart La Blogotheque because some of my favorite musicians do random concerts in the streets of my favorite city, Paris. Really, can it get any better than that? Today's artist is Danielson. I found out about him back in 2006 when I rented a documentary called Make a Joyful Noise. He has a very unique sound about him and was sort of a precursor to Sufjan Stevens whom I also love. The lyrics of his heart are always really deep and faith-filled...maybe that's why I like him...or that his music is so uniquely original too.

Enjoy this little video from La Blogotheque by Danielson.

♥ estate sales on saturday

2011-05-23T18:21:00.016-07:00

♥ my lovelies

2011-05-19T17:44:00.012-07:00

♥ harmonious tunes

2011-05-19T16:39:00.011-07:00

♥ whistle while you work

2011-05-16T12:09:00.008-07:00

Confession: I'm a 30 year old woman who never learned to whistle. Sometimes, I accidentally whistle when inhaling, but if you were to ask me to whistle on command...well, it would come out like a pregnant woman doing her lamaze breathing except no sweet delivery at the end.

I'm working on this blog of mine. Not sure if I like the header or not. Thoughts?

When graphic designers are bored, they update their blog's design. Just thought you should know. Oh, and you will never see Papyrus, Curlz or Times New Roman on here. Not if I can help it?!

Do you have a favorite font?

Alrighty then, I better get back to this:

The left side, but I really want to be out on the right.

♥ yesterday, a photo essay

2011-05-13T16:26:00.004-07:00

♥ top 3 keep portland weirdy moments

2011-05-11T08:54:00.012-07:00

Moment #1:
SE 34th and Hawthorne
(Reader beware ~ this one's gross!)
You are innocently enjoying some fro-yo with a friend on a superb Portland summer day as you people watch and talk. A hippie dude walking his dog stops to give attention to another stranger's dog. The hippie dude proceeds to squat down and interact with the stranger's dog and said dude licks tongues with his dog and the stranger's dog in some sort of weird love triangle. Disgusting and awkward...and only in Portland. I'm pretty sure I had to throw my fro-yo after that.

Moment #2:
SE 35th and Main
Just another day with windows open...what's that I hear? A sweet melody - it's lovely and it's coming from a man dressed like Santa playing the bagpipes while riding a unicycle. 30 Rock writers wish they had this material.

Moment #3:
SE 12th and Alder
A homeless man tells me he is Jesus and another homeless man laughs at his outrageous claims. Then Jesus homeless man says he is going to give giggly homeless man "the anointing of good vibrations" with his boom box. You can't make this stuff up.

Bonus Moment:
Mt. Tabor Park
There's nothing better than hiking through Mt. Tabor with your visiting mom and having a fiery red-haired man jump out from behind a tree dressed like a leprechaun and playing you something on his recorder. He may have made you pee in your pants a bit but just enjoy the riving notes of the said recorder. On second thought, it might've been a pan flute.

So keep Portland weird, but don't french kiss dogs - that's just GROSS people. Maybe just stick to dressing up and playing an instrument while jumping on a POGO stick? Oh, and I didn't mention double decker bikes because that's completely normal here. You see those everyday.

Love my weirdy city xo,

Mish

mng by mango at jcpenney

2011-05-04T09:53:00.016-07:00

It was Christmas 2010, and I had a Sephora gift card to use and went to the Sephora in JCPenneys to utilize my gift of make-up. After buying some BENEFIT make-up, this caught my eye:

Then, I realized I was in a world of wonderful fashion by:

I ended up purchasing this adorable top with a rusty brown cardi on the sale rack because I can never pay full price! I call it my girl scout / brownie outfit. It was the first hit that started my MNG by Mango addiction.

Then, I went with two of my favorite people to JCP this past Sunday, and the addiction was feed by the purchase of this dress (normally $109, and I think I got it for $13-15 - sale rack + coupies):

And the purchase of a long sleeve plaid check black and brown shirt and of course, this spring little diddy:

So you should probably check out JCP today, but stick to the sale rack and coupons to make it worth it! JCP is great about texting coupons and mailing them. You should never have to pay full price!

proud daughter alert

2011-05-02T12:54:00.003-07:00

My dad just graduated with his MBA at 57-years-old. Seriously, most people have given up already, but not my dad. He is a true example of perseverance and courage. He could have easily given up while going to school with young business-driven individuals. It would have been easy to give up when he worked 50-60 hour work weeks, but he didn't. He persevered, put his all into his school work, and graduated with his Master's degree. I admire and respect him for it.

I'm so proud of you, dad, and I love you so.

a valuable lesson to learn: who am i

2011-04-08T09:58:00.005-07:00

This year has not been easy. In fact, it hasn't been terribly rough either compared to the millions who suffer on a daily basis from an oppressive government, devastating natural disasters, or lack of clean water. It's been refining, and out of these times of uncertainty, I've learned who I really am. I am a 30-year-old just learning who I am and will continue to relearn this priceless lesson as I journey through this life.

Ready to hear what I've been learning?

I am NOT what I produce or do.

I am NOT what I own or have.

I am NOT what others think or say I am.

Yeah, just one of these lessons is hard enough, but try learning all three in less than 3 months. It has been so worth it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything because I have come to the realization that if I believe...

I am what I PRODUCE or do. Then, I am in a constant state of exhaustion trying to be productive, trying to create the next best design, trying to work for my security. This is a fruitless endeavor because there will always be more to do. And what if you are unable to work whether by circumstances, ill-health, etc., are you going to allow your work to determine your value at times when you cannot work?

I am what I OWN or have. Oh man, I think the American Dream has set us up for failure on this one, but we've all bought into it. When you have everything and never have to say "no" to yourself while shopping, then you may identify yourself with your possessions. You know those possessions end up possessing our souls very easily. What rusts and moths destroy...are those very things worth your heart, your life, your vitality? Will a car, a house, or an outfit price out your worth?

I am what others think or say I am. It's so easy for me to doubt myself and allow other people's condemnations to get to me. Our world is filled with judgement and to escape that would be nearly impossible. At one point or another, you will be marginalized by someone, and it will cause you pain. But will it cause you insecurity? It will if you put your weight on what others think of you. It will if you allow it to. It will if you have no other source of security beyond yourself. But is one man's opinion more important than God's of you?

NO!

"Your true identity is not in the hands of other people. Your identity can never be what some other person may think about you. You were fashioned by God in your mother's womb. God knew you intimately before you were born. You are God's beloved child. That is who you truly are." -Henri Nouwen

I AM GOD'S BELOVED CHILD.

This is who I am.

portland perks

2011-03-19T16:52:00.005-07:00

One of the perks of being a barista is the generosity of the regulars. Steve's barista position has given us more perks to this city of Portland than we would have ever imagined...just because there are really nice people out there. We get the best service from Chef Rick at Screen Door when we go in every so often. He usually gives us a free appetizer or two and greets us with a smile. We've even had Rose, a director at Portland Center Stage, give us free seats for a play. This past Thursday, one of the regulars came in and asked Steve if he wanted tickets to the Blazers game that evening. Steve wisely said, "Yes." We feel so blessed by the generosity of others, and their gifts are so appreciated.

The Blazers beat Cleveland bad, and we enjoyed eating sporting event junk food. Cotton candy and hot dogs were consumed. Thank you Peet's regulars for your kindness. It's nice feeling special.

pride and judgment

2011-03-16T21:57:00.004-07:00

Lately, it feels like pride and judgment are at an all time high in this culture of mine. I admit I've added my own pride and judgment to the mix, and if we are all honest with ourselves, then pride is present in most of us who happen to be human. It breaks my heart...this pride of ours. I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around professed followers of Christ who are so quick to judge and speak condemnation. Is that role reserved for humans, anyway?

To me, if you're a Christian, then you should care about God and others. The question should not be: "Are others in sin and how can I call them out on it?" That question should always start with our own lives and stop there because there's plenty of our "own" sin to keep us pre-ooccupied and occupied. The real question should be and always should be about...how can I love God and others better? How can I serve humanity with love and grace? How can I help my sister know her belovedness? How can I aid my brother in acknowledging his value?

I'm evaluating my life today and asking the Spirit to reveal in me my own sin that keeps me from loving, that keeps me on the downward slope of judgment and pride, and that holds me captive from truly being free and alive. I confess to the world that it's much easier to judge because then people are measured, answers are quantified and world views are black and white. Life is more colorful than the black and white film we try to capture it on. If you loose the mid-tones, you create a very one dimensional view of this world we live in. It's not so flat and boring. There is a lot of mystery, a lot of gray and a lot of life we will never understand...and it's ok. It's ok to live in the mystery. It's ok to accept that the gray exists. It's ok not to understand everything. If the only thing we truly understood was to love and be loved, then this world would have peace. It would have justice because kindness would reign. It would have equality because all people would be valued, appreciated, loved, and accepted and would be able to accept all of it. Maybe I'm describing heaven in the presence of a self-sacrificing Love? Maybe that's what I yearn for and desire these days?

A world where humility is the culture. Compassion is the path we trod on. Love is the air we inhale and exhale. Sometimes, we get a glimmer of it when we see others carrying old men on their backs from Japanese tsunami wreckage, when a friend says, "I love you with all of your messiness", or when a stranger smiles at you. There are glimpses of it, and they're truly beautiful.

Praying we give up our pride, for Love.

love this little family of mine

2011-03-08T12:13:00.006-07:00

(From Left to Right: My husband, me, my mom and dad)

My parents visited us this past weekend, and I have to say that I'm truly grateful for them. Their visit made me reflect on why I am so thankful for them...

They have taught me how to love, how to forgive, how to be kind, how to be humble, how to live...my parents have given me a foundation of Love, real love. They were not perfect, but when they messed up with us, they asked for forgiveness from their little children. They respected us and loved us from early on, and as a result, we felt valued. They taught us how to be forgiven and how to forgive...one of the most valuable lessons a person can learn in this lifetime.

One time, I had a wild night in my high school years. Let me just say this...there was alcohol involved, younger peers, and a Garth Brooks concert (and I didn't even like country music). My mom and dad had to pick me up from the infirmary from Reunion Arena in downtown Dallas. It was one of the worst nights of my life, and the boots I wore to the concert were covered in disgustingness because of my poor choices earlier that evening. My parents were quiet when they picked me up. They were really disappointed in me, and I was immensely disappointed in myself...for causing hurt to them. I basically punished myself way worse with my guilt than they punished me. A few weeks later, my boots showed up shiny and clean in my room and there was a note on top of those boots which said, "He makes all things new."

My mom had those boots of wrath cleaned and polished to teach me a lesson not about the consequences of my actions, but a much more poignant lesson about grace.

These are just a few of the reasons why I am thankful for my good and loving parents.

jewelry craftiness

2011-02-19T12:29:00.006-07:00

I've been in the jewelry makin' business lately. I love to do it because it's nice to have a reprieve from my graphic design work on the computer. Plus, there is something calming about crafting something with your hands. It's life-giving to me.

Here are a few samples of my new pieces. I really love them, and you can find them at my Etsy shop if you are interested in purchasing one of them.

Vintage Flower Pot Necklace

Sailboat Antiqued and Raw Brass Necklace

Vintage Heart Necklace IV

Filigree Lime Earrings

Vintage Heart Necklace III

a special kind of double

2011-02-10T14:52:00.009-07:00

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. ~Toni Morrison

My sister visited this past weekend, and man, was it a miracle that she made it here. In case, you haven't heard...Dallas, TX has been hit with massive snow. For Texans, massive snow would constitute as several inches and icy roads. Schools and places of work were closed for days. Hundreds of flights were cancelled the day she was to leave on standby. I was praying hard she would make it here. I've been homesick for my family a lot this past month, and her visit would help soothe my aching heart. By a miracle alone, she made it here after four flights and a long day of travel (I wondered who orchestrated what seemed impossible to be POSSIBLE - that's a whole other blog post). I was overwhelmed with gratitude and praise that she made it to PDX!

The next few days were just simply pleasant. She met up with old Portland friends, and we had such a relaxing, fun time together. We went to Goodwill Bins where you can purchase used clothes by the pound for a few bucks. She found a coat that fit her like a glove, and we went to my favorite antique store, Monticello, to look for vintage buttons. She found some adorable buttons with the exact amount she needed for her new two dollar coat. We laughed, played games, talked, walked to Laurelhurst park, relaxed together by reading, and watched a little bit of TV aka The Bachelor. Oh and we went to Voodoo Doughnuts - Megs' favorite eatery in Portland. We had a serious sugar high!

Seriously, we both thought it was the best time we've ever had together. Nothing out of this world happened. There was no grand adventure. We just spent quality time with one another and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was my kind of weekend, and apparently hers too.

It seemed like we were finally on the same page in regard to life and family and that we really wanted to cherish each moment together. Isn't that what life is about? Cherishing. Relishing. Loving one another.

Ok, I will leave you with this last thought:
Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five. ~Pam Brown

...only because Megs has never quite forgiven me for always quitting Barbies on her when we were little. ;)

my life in pictures

2011-01-29T15:08:00.009-07:00

Took these sweet girls, Iris and Madeline, to the Portland Art Museum and loved it. They really liked the collection of Native American art. The tiny, glass beadwork on clothes, moccasins, belts, dresses, baby carriers was phenomenal.

Speaking of art, my favorite painting of all time is Van Gogh's Branches of an Almond Tree in Bloom. It cozily lives in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, and I've had the very privilege of standing in front of this masterpiece basking in its glory! This photo was taken in Retiro Park in Madrid, Spain and has been edited in homage to the brother of Theo.

I'm glad I married a reader. Currently, I'm reading Toni Morrison's Sula and may not finish it by January 31st but that's why I give myself grace so I won't give up. Steve's reading one of my all time favorite books, East of Eden by John Stienbeck.

And, this little guy, Harley, just kills me. The older he gets, the cuter he becomes. Steve and I are currently trying to teach him how to high-five. Not sure if we tackled it yet!

Jewelry making is my hobby / part-time, really, part-time job. ;)

Thanks for indulging me and reading this post. I would love to hear from you!

aven, my friend's sweet baby girl

2011-01-24T14:19:00.008-07:00

I gave this sweet baby girl a haircut before she rested her new do on my shoulder. The day before I cut Harley's hair, and I have to say it was easier cutting the baby's locks. Harley, our three pound Yorkshire Terrier, just squirms and jerks way too much. It's a miracle I have not poked out his eyes yet.

dreams do come true

2011-01-21T15:54:00.011-07:00

even in the cold days of winter, nature shines with beauty and the promise of new life.

paris is for lovers. what an iconic city that i miss!

waiting for the right one is totally worth it.

2010 Reading List Complete

2011-01-12T16:21:00.005-07:00

Last year, my new year's resolution was to read a book a month, and I did it by giving myself a little bit of grace here and there. For example, I was able to finish two books in one month if I had a crazy month before. Basically, I read 12 books for the 12 months in a year, and it feels so good to accomplish something that adds richness to my life and my imagination.

Here's what I read:

January - "A Cry for Mercy" by Henri Nouwen
February - "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger
March - "A Farewell to Arms" by Ernest Hemingway
April - "The Only Thing Necessary: Prayer" by Henri Nouwen
May - "Fearless" by Max Lucado
June - "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" by David Sedaris
July - "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway
August - "A Moveable Feast" by Ernest Hemingway
September - "Jane Eyre" by Charolette Bronte
October - "Handbook on Faith, Hope, and Love" by St. Augustine
November - "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris
December - "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas a Kempis

The worst book for me, personally, was St. Augustine's Handbook - the moral logic bored me at best. The irony of this is that surely a "Christian" would have "disliked" David Sedaris over Augustine, but I didn't. David Sedaris is, at least, honest and funny.

My favorite read was either The Old Man and the Sea, Jane Eyre or A Cry for Mercy. It's a toss up, really. I loved The Old Man and the Sea because of the protagonist's patience, perseverance and heart larger than that of his catch. I loved Jane Eyre for her plainness, resilience and loyalty to God and others even those who wounded her. I loved A Cry for Mercy because Henri's prayers became mine. It was if his words were my words, his thoughts, my thoughts. Henri gets our faith in all its mystery and simplicity, and I love his work, always will.

people i'm missing lately

2010-12-01T01:51:00.013-07:00

...missing pam and john for their excellent taste in television & cars and their constant friendship
...missing dad d for his crazy humor & antics and missing mom d for her loyalty and her sparkly eyes
...missing becca for her sheer adorableness (she's her father and mother's daughter)
...missing my mom for her dark humor and empathetic nature (don't know how these mesh, but they do in you, mom!)
...missing my dad for his compassion and carpe diem spirit (he will eat and drink his way through a party, folks)
...missing jay and megs for their pleasant company and crafty, ingenious endeavors

reminding myself of my heart's prose

2010-11-15T16:24:00.000-07:00

You give peace to those who are far
and to those who are near.
Here's my wounded human heart;
I want to trust you without fear.

The waves toss back and forth,
The wind goes here and there.
But you, Abba, hold me close, and
care about the things that bring me to tears.

I do not stand alone.
I do not walk alone.
The most beautiful words I've ever heard
are "Child, I am always here."

sufjan's i walked - i heart it

2010-11-05T21:03:00.005-07:00

i am not one to quote sermons

2010-10-28T08:57:00.002-07:00

but here i go...
i worry a lot, and our most recent church service was on anxiety. pastor rick made worry and anxiety funny when he talked of pacing around the house and driveway literally digging pathways into the earth while starting this church called imago. he made me laugh b/c i related to the stress of worry so well, and how it doesn't achieve anything. worry does nothing but strip away all the happy and leaves you empty for the day, and literally accomplishes nothing but depravation. one thing he said that struck me in the most profound way was this...

"you are worried that god is going to hold out on you, but you haven't realized that he has literally given you all that he has in christ."

whoa. my bad theology makes me worry, but god is a good father who gives without finding fault and he's already given me everything he has. so why worry?

i live to create lovelies

2010-10-27T11:10:00.001-07:00

circumstances

2010-10-21T14:33:00.003-07:00

i have to admit my contentment and well-being depend too greatly on my circumstances. if the day runs smoothly, then i am fine. if my plans are frustrated or something unexpected happens, well then, i'm freaking out.

over the past few weeks, i've allowed externals to affect my happiness, and i confess that i have not placed my trust where i need to. consequently, i've faced a superfluous amount of frustration and difficulty leading me in a downward spiral to despair. my heart is not as it should be, and i've asked the only one who can help me for healing.

he is the only one who can truly uplift and encourage me. he is the one who speaks kindness in my heart when others whisper darkness in my ear. he is the one who gives me real life and true freedom. he is the one i trust. today, i resolve in this heart of mine to trust abba with all my heart, to lean on jesus with all my accord and to closely follow the holy, mysterious spirit.

why i love oregon

2010-10-09T17:01:00.005-07:00

four fall looks for a friend

2010-09-05T20:16:00.005-07:00

which one do you prefer? (click pic to see it larger)

summer reading is for grown-ups too

2010-09-01T12:18:00.004-07:00

well, this summer, i managed to read two short books by e. hemingway and one medium sized book by henri nouwen. my mom and i are going through the later book together sharing our thoughts on his thoughts and encouraging each other toward stillness and prayer. have i been still at heart? sort of/not really. have i been praying more? i think so. actually, the book is called prayer: the only thing necessary and was compiled after henri passed. he didn't believe in writing a book on prayer because he thought you should just do it. i agree. it's so easy to talk about spiritual disciplines than it is to actually do them. i believe that prayer is the heart beat of my faith, and it gives life to my hope in abba. these days, it seems there are a lot of things to pray for. i know at least three people with cancer right now...family and friends. it's rough, and sometimes i feel a little helpless when all i can do is pray, but i'm beginning to realize this is not the least i can do, but the greatest thing i can do.

i think i'll save my next post for my thoughts on the old man and the sea and a movable feast. i will say that i liked these books much better than a farewell to arms.

have you met my baby?

2010-08-30T10:26:00.003-07:00

donu mash ceramic art wear

2010-08-29T18:34:00.008-07:00

good crafternoon! my friend, donna, and i have been busy little crafter bees. we have a ton of creative ideas and cannot wait to execute them. last year, donna and i went to crafty wonderland's super colassal holiday sale. we had fun buying cute stuff galore but we were also inspired. we saw it as an opportunity to use our creative talents as a team. she's been taking ceramic classes, and i've been designing jewelry. it was a natural fit...to create ceramic jewelry, but i call it ceramic art wear. donna is an alumn of reed college and majored in art. she has a great aesthetic and with our powers of design combined you get things like this:

and logos like this...

i'm so excited about this adventure with one of my best of the best friends, so look for us at this year's crafty wonderland!

i heart anything french

2010-08-26T19:52:00.006-07:00

and if you couldn't tell by my blog, then yes, i might be a francophile if that's the term. i have francais blood pumping through these veins of mine. this year, one of my dreams came true by the generosity of some amazing in-laws that i love...and steve and i were able to go to madrid, then to my dream city, paris. it was a quick four days, but i loved every minute of it. i found out that i had retained more french than i thought, thanks to years of francais in middle school, high school and college. my trip increased my desire to learn to speak the language not just comprehend it through reading. here are some little snap shots of my trip of a life-time:

bonjour winged victory

a rose window in the notre dame

je marche dans le jardin du luxembourg

steve and me a le musee du rodin (our only pic together)

la tour effiel (my constant reminder, my compass, my true north)

sacre couer (montmartre, my fav part of paris)

moulin rouge

harley's french girlfriend

Back in the Jewelry Makin' Biz

2010-08-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

My Fall Jacket

2010-08-13T13:54:00.002-07:00

Just thought I'd share...

I would like to thank Groupon for getting me $25 off this sweet layer. If you don't know what Groupon is, then you are missing out on a world of savings if you shop, like to eat out, or do other fun things.

Je seul ne marche pas

2010-07-20T07:42:00.008-07:00

Us

2010-07-18T21:17:00.004-07:00

Miss you

2010-06-26T11:32:00.002-07:00

A Fish Caught in the Net

2010-06-22T22:41:00.009-07:00

Today I feel raw
like a slab of meat on a hook
cold, vulnerable, alone.

It's too quiet at home
and the sky looks vast

The clock ticks loudly
reminding me of my fleeting moments
keeping me aware of time passing
increasing the dull ache in my heart

Darkness surrounds me
the blanket cannot cover my apprehension
of life without you or your life without me

Alone I bare the pain of you gone
Alone I ache for just one embrace

You mean everything to me
without you here it's like only one half of me is present
The other half at a bay in Alaska
and the clock keeps ticking

Husband's in the Kitchen

2010-05-16T20:07:00.002-07:00

What is nice? It's nice when you have a husband that is cooking a Jamie Oliver recipe in your kitchen, then as you are perusing blogs, he brings you a glass of chardonnay. And, you love chardonnay. I feel like Steve is my fifties housewife, and I'm thankful that he defies gender stereotype; that he is my Renaissance man. Thank you, God, that I don't have to cook. That's all I have to say because my dinner's ready :)

Let me say No No No No

2010-05-12T23:00:00.003-07:00

Yes, that's a lyric in a Destiny's Child song, and it's kinda been my mantra as of late. Actually, I've found a lot of freedom and life by exercising my "no's" in just a short time. I'm already free and living, but I'm even more so now. It's really a gift to have someone in your life that sits down and talks to you straight. Steve is that someone. He really knows how to convey the truth in a loving, protective way. When Steve and I had our little heart to heart, the truth planted itself in my heart, freedom took root and life began again.

So thank you Abba for Steve, for the truth that sets us free, and for life. Oh, and for strong black women who I look up to.

Yes Woman

2010-05-11T08:26:00.002-07:00

Lately, I've been a Yes woman
Leaving no room for no's.
Scheduling myself with all good things
and coming home with woes.

No time for Steve or Harley,
No time for love to be.
No care for myself or others,
No care for the one unseen.

Here I am, hollow.
Missing out on life.
Busying myself with good things
but in my soul, there's strife.

Caring too much for approval,
Not caring too much for him.
Loving only others,
and spreading myself too thin.

Not Still Enough to Write

2010-05-09T18:20:00.005-07:00

I have not been still enough to write, to pray, to think, to reside, to breathe, to sit in a long time. My life's washer has been stuck on spin cycle since I returned from France and Spain. There was a strong desire within me to reconnect with all my friends, so I went hog wild like a pig with its trough filled up! Seriously, I don't know if I sat to think, whether or not, I had the time or energy because I didn't care! Then, my business has been blowing up in a positive, thank-you-Lord sort of way, and I got a design contract with a client who I hold so dear, and it's the only church I want to create for because they mean that much to me. It was a wild April, and I'm still working on that boundaries, saying "no", thing. You know sometimes I can be amazing at it, and other times it's like the only word I can speak is "Yes, please!" Oh man, I am not complaining. Friends, family, work, babysitting are all good things, but in moderation, of course.

In the meantime, I read A Farewell to Arms. I think this is my book for March. I still need to read one for April and May. As you can see I'm already flailing about like a fish on the ocean's shore with my simple New Year's goal. But I'm not one to be rigid so if I read 12 this year, I'm good. If I read more, even better!

My thoughts on Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms...it felt cold, metallic, and void of emotion. I could not for the life of me connect to the story. I don't know if it was the characters, plot, or what...but my experience reading East of Eden by Stienbeck was completely polar opposite - I was so engaged...I literally drank the book and ate it, then got my tattoo after finishing it. Maybe it was the heart of the book that inspired me, the broken characters, following one man's life from birth to death, so I think I should read more John Stienbeck. Any suggestions for my next book?

Catcher in the Rye

2010-02-15T17:14:00.007-07:00

Well, I'm continuing my goal from 2009 to read one book a month. Around August 2009, I faded because of all the activity. Steve returned from fishing; we went to Florida for a family reunion beach vacation; we returned to Portland; Steve started training for Hood to Coast; Steve ran; we enjoyed the coast; we moved to a duplex; we painted; we settled in; 2010 began quickly. I finished "A Cry for Mercy" by Henri J.M. Nouwen on the night of January 31st. His prayer journal brought tears to my eyes which made it hard to read at points in time. And just yesterday or the day before, I finished "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger.

Here are my humble thoughts on these two gems.

A Cry for Mercy is a log of prayers and mediations that Henri wrote during his stay at an upstate New York monastery. If you believe in Jesus, then this book will hit you at the core. His prayers were my prayers. His thoughts encouraged me on days I felt alone and lifeless and reaffirmed me on days when hope filled me to the brim and overflowed over the sides of my heart. Here is one of the many heart-felt, truth-filled prayers that connected me to my brother, Henri:

"Dear Lord, today I thought of the words of Vincent van Gogh: 'It is true there is an ebb and flow, but the sea remains the sea.' You are the sea. Although I experience many ups and downs in my emotions and often feel great shifts and changes in my inner life, you remain the same. Your sameness of a faithful lover. Out of your love I came to life; by your love I am sustained; and to your love I am always called back. There are days of sadness and days of joy; there are feelings of guilt and feelings of gratitude; there are moments of failure and moments of success; but all of them are embraced by your unwavering love. My only real temptation is to doubt in your love to think of myself as beyond the reach of your love, to remove myself from the healing radiance of your love. To do these things is to move into darkness of despair. O Lord, sea of love and goodness, let me not fear too much the storms and winds of my daily life, and let me know that there is ebb and flow but that the sea remains the sea. Amen."

A Cry for Mercy is that, a movement toward the light of hope, the sea of love and goodness where the sea is the sea. It is one man crying out to God for intimacy, for existential purpose and for love. Thus, this thought brings me to "The Catcher in the Rye".

"The Catcher in the Rye" was J.D's memoir in disguise. I believe Holden Caulfield, the protagonist embodied all the thoughts and feelings of J.D. Salinger. Holden's biggest hang up was if people were phony. He so deeply desired intimacy, but had a self-destructive way about him when it came to people and relationships because he would push people away with his words and actions. His deepest relationship to me was his relationship with his sister, Pheobe. I think it's because she loved Holden with an innocence and didn't size him up the way the world does, and she listened to him even when she did not understand what he was saying. Holden wanted to be heard and accepted even if his outlook on the world didn't line up with the mainstream. He wanted to be a catcher in the rye that stood by and caught children if they got too close to the edge of a cliff. He wanted to rescue others because I believe he had a huge heart for humanity despite all the phonies in the world. The whole book is Holden's journey for intimacy, for depth and for love, and I think he finds some in his sister but not quite enough. He was an alien in a world that reveres power, success, and intellect, and had a hard time fitting the mold that his parents and teachers wanted him to fit. My mom told me that J.D. Salinger became a recluse in upstate New York after he wrote "The Catcher in the Rye" because of all the attention he received from the book.

To me, Holden's life like J.D.'s life was not too different from Henri Nouwen's, they both cried out for intimacy, and they both cried out for mercy.

Buddy Holly and Kelly Ry Photography

2010-01-21T23:26:00.005-07:00

They're a great mix (click here).

I love, love, love these pictures. Kelly is an amazing photographer who is able to take ordinary settings and create extraordinary compositions and photos. I love the timeless feel of these images, and the way she is able to capture all the nuances of the environment in which we dwell. Kelly lives in the Windy City, and she definitely brought the wind the day of our shoot. We had the honor of spending Christmas Day with her and the honor of being her subjects! Thank you a hundred times over, Kelly!

If you are interested in purchasing a copy of one of these wonderful photos, then please click here.

The Rural Juror

2010-01-20T15:25:00.003-07:00

Today, I woke up in a groggy state, late, and rushed out the door still in that foggy, groggy state. Steve drove me as quick as he could in traffic to an old stately building downtown. I jumped out of the car, crossed the busy street, and entered the Multnomah County Courthouse. Quickly, I cleared security, entered the room labeled Jurors' Waiting Room, and a woman sitting behind a desk scanned a barcode on my sheet of paper while a judge tried to convince us that this was our most important civic duty. We watched a cheesy video about our role as a juror which made me laugh at parts, but I repressed any laughter that tried to arise from my belly. Then, we waited.

And we are still waiting.

I think I'm ok with not being on a jury, but what about our most important role as a U.S. citizen? What about justice? Well, sometimes justice involves much waiting, and that's what I learned today. I guess it's easy not to care about justice when it doesn't involve yourself...when you're being selfish. So my true character is out.

Scenes of Tina Fey dressed as Princess Leia talking with a lisp crosses my mind, I'm thinking of other more reasonable ways to convince lawyers that I'm not a fit juror. Like, "Sometimes I cry loudly, out of the blue in public places" or "I need to use the restroom every 5 minutes." Any good excuses as I wait, wait and wait?

We are FAMILY

2010-01-19T18:36:00.002-07:00

You know today I'm grateful for my family.
For their pursuit of God and for their overall supportiveness.
For their calls and gifts and outpouring of love.
For all that they are and all that they do.

We are who we are because of you family
and God's grace. So thanks, family, I love you.

Dear Blogspot

2010-01-10T17:19:00.002-07:00

I've missed you. You see I haven't wanted to ignore you. It's just that...you know Facebook kinda took over. She's very demanding always requesting things and contacting me via email. She's distracted me. I've spent time looking at her many faces and updating my life via a status bar...that I became the status quo, and lost my sense of depth and in turn lost the feeling of what it's like to write again. Oh, Blogspot, I hope you can forgive me for my neglect. Please give me another chance. I'm setting more boundaries with Facebook, so we can be friends once again. :)

It's Been Too Long

2009-06-30T14:55:00.004-07:00

Wow. So, a lot has happened since I've last posted. I read East of Eden by John Steinbeck in April, Boundaries in May, and Where the Wild Things Are in June (thanks to the Rener family). Currently, I'm reading Here and Now by Henri Nouwen with my madre. We've had some really great discussions because of this book, and I'm grateful for it. Henri Nouwen has a beautiful and authentic heart, and he really desires to love God and others - you can just tell.

Steve is commercial salmon fishing in Alaska for more than a month. He returns July 18th, and I seriously can't wait! But, I have to wait, and God has been teaching me to rely on him and not Steve. Trust Him, and not other people and things. It hasn't been easy, but this long, long, long distance relationship is making me realize how much I really do neglect my relationship with Abba. Right now, Steve is the one I love but he is invisible. He is not here to hold me or kiss me or tell me face-to-face that he loves me. He sends me letters and occasionally, I hear from him via the phone. But the yearning I have for him is ridiculous, and I want to spend time writing letters to him, making him packages, and just thinking about him. I want this desire to translate into my relationship with Abba. I want to be so consumed with love for him that I'm consumed with his presence and expend my energy in loving him like I do for Steve. I'm learning a lot which learning and growing is always good, but it's usually never easy. So, I remain challenged; and I remain confident that Abba loves me without condition or any kind of reserve.

Well, that's all I have to say. Besides, I really feel blessed to have as many friends as I do and blessed by people who have shown me so much love. So thanks to all my friends and family in Tejas - you really know how to make a girl feel special.

Books, Books, Books

2009-03-21T17:37:00.005-07:00

In a concious effort to start and finish books rather than to start a book, start another book, and another one, I decided to make a goal for myself. Not a New Year’s Resolution, those are too fickle or is it that I am too fickle? In order to avoid the failed resolutions, I decided a goal is much better, more realistic, easier to fulfill. My goal is to read a book a month, and so far, so good.

In January, I read “Finding My Way Home” by Henri Nouwen who I highly recommend to anyone who wants to enrich their spiritual journey and wants to be reminded of basic truths that are easy to overlook when running about in the rat race. He reminded me to keep my eyes open and heart open to the poor who live so closely. Their presence is sometimes so repetivitve where I live that generalizing them as substance abusers and mentally ill seems fitting and justifiable. Yet looking them in the eye, smiling, or taking the time to listen to whatever story they want to tell, takes much more. It takes a listener, one who doesn’t mind leaving a to-do unchecked, one who can be still in heart and mind. More often than not, I am not this person. “Finding My Way Home” reminded me that I am not home. I am on a journey and have a purpose which is to love my Father in Heaven and live because I am loved.

In February, I read “Run with the Horses” by Eugene Peterson. He is the guy who made us want to haul up to Canada and go to a school called Regent College because he just seems to GET God. Somehow, God is real when you read Eugene Peterson’s work. If you’ve read the Message version of the Bible, then you’ve read his work. He can take old language that doesn’t seem to make sense, and rewrite in language the everyday joe can understand. The book I read was about Jeremiah (the weeping prophet). The one who never got the respect he deserved, who men ridiculed and punished. If you struggle with man’s approval (aka people pleasing – by the way, I have no idea what it means to people please, ha ha), let Jeremiah be your inspiration. Seriously, this guy was one tough cookie yet he never crumbled. God kept him together, and he remained faithful to his purpose.

Today, I finished “Christ the Lord: Out of Eygpt” by Anne Rice. Anne Rice has written a ton of novels and mostly about vampires. She is adimt about historical research and getting details right for each time period her novels are set in. When she decided to write Christ the Lord: Out of Eygpt, she did what she always did. She researched…the history of the Jewish people, their customs and practices, their culture. She researched Jesus and the time he lived. In her research, she began to believe which was not what she set out to do. She took historical facts and wrote what Jesus would have been like as a seven-year-old. The New Testament told us about his birth, his ministry and his death, but all it said of his childhood is that he grew in wisdom and stature. She used her imagination as well as history and the character of Christ as her guide. This book was so valuable. It allowed me to see Jesus as a human. You know it’s hard to believe that at times. Like when he did not say a word to Pilate to escape death, and that he didn’t yell back at his mockers from the cross. The pain alone would have made me go off on the accusers! She opened the door to allow me to think of Jesus as a little boy and to know that his life is more than just a birth and a death, but that there was a valuable in-between that shaped who he was. It was in the “in-between” that he grew in wisdom and stature, and Anne Rice does a reverently gracious job in creating a portrait of Jesus as a child. You cannot read this book and not be touched by the beauty of Christ the Lord.

Obviously, I’ve been on a Christian kick with my reading so for April, I’m going to read the non-fiction book, “The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls” by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. I’ll let you know how it is.

This is an Environment of Welcoming, and You Should Just Get the Hell Out of Here!

2009-03-17T09:53:00.005-07:00

What the What!

2009-03-03T11:37:00.002-07:00

Voting for Wanda in Four Years

2009-02-24T15:33:00.002-07:00

Dedicated to One of My Three Heroes

2009-01-24T23:29:00.003-07:00

you cry about injustice
you hate taking the blame
you know you are innocent
but the oppressor still remains

he seeks you when you're living
he finds you when you're free
he chains you with fear
and whips you to your knees

and when i break, he's cheering
and when i doubt, he's near
he's fighting in a battle
going on right now, right here

though i may not see it
though i feel despair
i know there is a victor
holding me close and near

he's protecting me with presence
he's protecting me with love
he's taking the blame though he's innocent
and he's fighting in the push and shove

he's defending my honor
he's calling my name
he's loving me with all he has
and he's taking my blame

i don't deserve you, jesus
you gave me all you have
while i live for myself
you live and die for dad

you bring abba glory
you bring abba love
you bring in his presence
when i feel unloved

you are my one and only
i'm free in you
you are my one and only
i live in you

In Honor of One of My Three Heroes

2009-01-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

Snow and Joy

2008-12-24T11:11:00.015-07:00

Steve pulled me from our place to Laurelhurst Park on his old snowboard with some rope. Boy! Was he tired! Don't worry. I gave him a Snickers bar and a Coke.

When we arrived at Laurelhurst, we found that the ducks' pond had shrunk significantly.

Then Steve and I went sledding, and he caught some air!

Victorious!

Me on the way back up the hill

Harley's First Snow Day

He just ate some. No yellow snow, Harley, nooooooooooooo!

Our lovely courtyard

Megs and Jay's Honda Civic / Abominable Snowman

Harley's Famous

2008-11-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

Harley's Article

I'm a proud mother!

This is my friend, Sam

2008-11-18T15:18:00.002-07:00

She works for Anthropologie as a visual manager, and here she is in an online catalog. I'm a proud friend. Can you tell? Isn't she cute in her snowflake necklace!

I could blog about...

2008-11-18T15:16:00.004-07:00

I could blog about how I wish Christians would stop fighting culture, politics, or whatever form of morality they desire and would start fighting for the oppressed, those who are physically and spiritually oppressed. But I won't.

3:00 PM

2008-11-04T16:17:00.001-07:00

It's about 3:00 pm, and I have only two more hours of daylight. There's no time to blog!

The Economy...This is How God Speaks to Me

2008-10-21T13:13:00.003-07:00

I lost a wonderful client of mine today. They are a beautiful organization, and I'm sad that I won't get to work with them anymore. The economy is truly affecting everyone and everything, everywhere. Steve and I have been doing well overall. God continues to bless my business more than ever.

We've been wanting to buy a house really bad, but in this part of the country, it is NOT cheap. I find myself wanting a house and getting a little greedy for it, wanting to spend all my savings on it. Not that we have that much saved! Anyway, there's a tension we face in relation to money. We want more of it because we want this or that, but today God speaks to me at a poignant time.

He says, "Mish, godliness plus contentment is great gain." (1 Timothy 6.6, my emphasis added)

He continues to say, "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, woman of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen. Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."

And I say, "Abba, help me to desire the life that is truly life and give generously because of my hope in Christ. Amen."

This is Why We Give Homemade Gifts at Christmas

2008-09-22T10:28:00.002-07:00

Taken from the Imago Dei Community's website
Advent Conspiracy 2008

Stan Patyrak of Living Water International recently spent time in Africa visiting different well sites funded by Advent Conspiracy. The new well is bringing new life to the people of the village. This year in Sierra Leone, LWI will be building 50 more wells like this one. The people there know about Advent Conspiracy and they understand who made the water possible for them. The work of Christ in these people is truly beautiful. In the next week, there are 20 wells going up in Sudan, then Liberia, and then more in Sierra Leone. What Christ is doing in these villages is real. These are real kids, real women, real men, real lives in Sierra Leone, Sudan, Liberia, Peru, and India.

The following is a story from Stan's time in Sierra Leone:

My first day in-country I was at the tail end of a well rehab done through Advent Conspiracy in Sierra Leone at a school. When the team arrived the second day to complete the work, all 500 kids were in the field outside the school, waiting-chanting, yelling, celebrating. They started chanting "Jesus has given us a BIG miracle! Praise be to Jesus!" Over and over again.
Then I looked up.

Only to realize that I was at an Islamic school.

We hope that this story, and others to come, encourages you and reminds you that Jesus is working in and through each of our lives. Your support of Advent Conspiracy has brought life to the villages of Africa. Praise be to Jesus!

This SNL Video Cracked Me Up

2008-09-14T22:06:00.002-07:00

We met in high school. He liked my hair.

2008-09-05T10:13:00.001-07:00

Yearbook Yourself!