Free And Living

Free And Living

28 November 2005

I'm Doing This Thing Because I Feel Like It

5 things I...

Cannot Do:
1. water ski
2. listen to talk radio
3. remember movies i've seen
4. beat steve and becca putt putting
5. appear smart & serious to others

Can Do:
1. make you smile
2. eat donuts
3. love others
4. observe people and my environment (...i'm a scientist)
5. say something witty every once in awhile

Plan to do before I die:
1. get married to steve & glorify god with steve
2. have babies with steve (adopt a baby from another country)
3. have my own website with my design, photography, art and writing
4. publish a book or something
5. swim with dolphins and ride horses on the beach

Attract me to the opposite sex: (like katherine, their relationship with Christ is included, yada yada...)
1. his heart/passion
2. his beautiful eyes and smile and good hair and scruffiness
3. the way he embraces life
4. his joy
5. his humor

Say most often:
1. boo
2. love you
3. hug me
4. how are you?
5. thank you god (...i'm trying to get better at this)

Celebrity Crushes:
1. Pan Caliente
2. Luke Wilson because I think he looks like Steve Davis
3. Jack from Lost because I think he looks like Steven Charles
4. Hot Cakes
5. Stevie Boo

all done.

23 November 2005

PAC MAN Tournament Thanksgiving 2005

Right now as I type something of a miracle is happening. Steven Charles Davis of Flower Mound, Texas is defeating his sorry oppenents in one of the highlights of the year. The annual PAC MAN tournament. I would say first annual, but if a year has not occurred then how could it be a first annual? "It went right up in my face," quoteth Steven as the ghost on the screen creeps toward PAC's head region, actually, his head region is his whole entity for PAC is merely a yellow head.

Becca cusses voilently in her head as yellow PAC is chased violently by ghosts. Becca must finish this PAC MAN news article as I go play...

[Becca's thoughts] "What the (foul)(filth)(foul)(foul)(filth) is going on?" "Where did he come from? He was BLUE! I SWEAR!"....Pac Man, a game not for the fainthearted. Our living room has turned into a death zone, blood shed is emminent....

**This just in....Apparently Mish likes to make up rules. Apparently this is HER tournament. Apparently Steve and I are just "players" in her little "game". Sheesh.** (foul)(filth(foul)(filthin)(foul)

steve here: mish has just tried to bribe me with kisses to get first place. I think i'll let her win.

becca screams, "don't be so elusive!" "My fingers hurt!!!"

but you see, two games in a row helps. where the heck are pam and john? steve, you musn't forget the mark of question. we have watched LOST and are disappointed that we have to wait an entire week in order to see another episode recaping the last season and a half. we all agree that officially hate ana lucia and want her to die.

steve shouts, "this joystick is not in my control anymore" as he only obtains 6000 points in 2 lives. "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" he dies again. "why is this game so difficult?" he laments as his standing in the TOURNE is now questionable.

wait a second! i have just been misqouted. the joystick may have been out of my control for a moment but not long enough to necessitate any sort of lament. for the record i have regained control and continue to maintain a commanding lead.

steve is right his commanding lead was 10,000 points.

the tournament commences same time same place next year. it will be our second annual PAC MAN tourne.

21 November 2005

Do Not Delay

one hour of images flashing pain and violence...vh1 documents couples who have sex parties and exchange an intimate act of worship for a quick romp with a stranger. dateline nbc documents sexual predators. another news channel tells the story of a young man, the age of a freshman in college, who opened fire on people in a mall. then, the catholic teacher who had sex with some of her 16-year-old male students.

why?

because we are broken man. without god, we take life, throw it away, and give our lives to our pleasures. our pleasures overtake us, bind us, break us, and inside we detriorate. it is the turkish delight that edmund in "the lion, the witch in the wardrobe: craved, pleasure. when it is our god, we will only find pain to follow. soon enough, the pain slips away and we are numb by the cold of sin and are dead souls existing.

we are dead. how long will we deny his life? how long will we seek our own way? how long will we submit to every cruel master just for a temporary morsel of turkish delight?

oh, may your [hesed] lovingkindness dwell in our hearts. we worry about society and laws and social behaviors. i worry about man's heart. look what we have become without you, jesus. return, my sweet lord, with your fierceness and with your love. don't wait.

"May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The LORD be exalted!" Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay."

16 November 2005

untitled

So where do I begin...

Yesterday was interesting. The previous evening Steve and I discovered that our washer was leaking and had been leaking since we moved in. How did we come to this conclusion? Well, the fuzzy mold on the baseboards of the wall lead us there. The next day I go to the office and ask for a serious maintenance request. One of the guys shows up at my apartment, enters, assesses, and starts tearing out the wall. He said the hoses were not tightened with pliers and a small leak had caused the damage. Long story short, right now as I type, my washer is kissing the dryer and half of the wall is missing. And, we are paying for it. Chapter 1 in things that will go wrong in our life…with many chapters to follow…and all I need to do is embrace it, but I struggle with that. I let the little things get to me and I get angry when life doesn’t go the way I would like it. Lord, help me.

Later that day, I talk to my good friend Nikki. She was going to an audition. She had been getting ready for about an hour, and she locks up her apartment and starts walking down the stairs…and she falls! She said she thought God was humbling her because she thought she was looking pretty good. She just laughed. I love that about her.

This same friend has been sued this past year by a taxi driver that tried to blame Nikki for an accident, she’s been accused of stealing jewelry from a family she nannied for from her church, had to take a polygraph, and was let go by the family she’s worked since she’s been in LA. It was too hard for them to be in the middle of it because this family referred her to their good friends family who lost the jewelry. Everyone in this story attends the same church. Now, I am bitter for Nikki, but you know what…she’s not. She is handling this situation with grace, embracing it as a learning process, and is not losing her joy no matter how discouraging and draining this situation is. She is an encouragement to me.

If you are reading this story, and you feel sorry for Nikki…don’t, just pray for her. She needs serious prayer. I praise God for her graciousness and strength. She is a beautiful testament of perseverance and unconditional love.

So, I think this is where I should end. I’m thankful for friends who encourage me to embrace life, be grateful and gracious in all things for His Kingdom and Glory.

10 November 2005

How I am doing...

50 days until I marry Steve...it is so exciting! Though there is a part of me that is depressed with all of this change (moving churches, jobs, becoming a new family, etc.). It is all good change, but it is bittersweet at times. Knowing that I will not have the same role as a daughter in a family, but as a wife to a husband and eventually, someday, by God's grace, a mother of children. It's so crazy how life twists and turns but I could not even imagine a better partner in this journey. God has blessed me tremendously with Steven Davis. I gladly take on his name.

Two Minute Prose

Seasons change, crying leaves me breathless
My heart skipping beats with excitement
New life comes, departing leaves sadness
Arriving here with you, nothing could be better
Full of freedom because of you
New clothes pure, gone are the old and taddered
I have you and that's who I am
You are faithful, holy, beautiful and loved
Crying in change, emotions overwhelm me
Free in hope, the unseen around me

02 November 2005

Living to the Best of My Ability

A recap on the past two weeks...I feel like I was really alive. Is that weird? We say we live, but are we really living? Enjoying life? Capturing moments? Loving? Grieving? Celebrating? This is what living means to me...

It is pulling over to pet horses, taking walks with people you are getting to know, racing Steve on my Wal-Mart bike and riding down steep hills together, then kissing in the woods. Living is worshipping God, and it's being grateful. Grateful for things like thumbs, washers/dryers, dishwashers, anything electronic that cleans and doesn't require much effort, family, new family, people who whisper in your ear, "we loved you instantly", cousins who address wedding invitations for you when they've had a stressful work day and week, friends who blog about beautiful life moments and never lose their sense of wonder and appreciation for all the idiosyncrasies of life, a sister’s wedding to her beloved, family gathering in one place, dancing, lip-singing, watching grandma blanda sing her heart, “at first, i was afraid. i was petrified. thinking how i was gonna live without you by my side…”, watching a shy ring bearer bust out his justin timberland-esque moves on the dance floor, having little cousins again, knowing steve and i are getting married in less than two months, having him in my life to journey with, conversations with sam about moving, new cars, birth control. I am grateful for honeymoons, warm meals, love, little dogs that look like ewoks and shake when they want something or when they're scared...

What is living to you?